You know I adore you, I'm caked in flour for you

In a tenement basement, heat dispelling my consciousness

The Ovenman adding coal, benehman wait to roll,

Production secrets kept tight.

 

American glory not yet before me,

Just a hard, dense ring, with an ethnic bling,

Writing minutes in Yiddish, my union is clannish

The Deli fights for its life (Ah)

 

Antisemitism on the radio dial,

On the TV, Lindbergh's hateful smile,

I am confined to the Lower East Side,

It's been a long time boiling, but

 

It's Jews and me, that's my whole world,

They whisper "it's Jewish" as the labels unfurl (Okay)

The whole world turns its nose away,

Nowhere but New York for the ethnic bagel to stay.

It's Jews and me, there's nothing like this,

Not yet Ms. Americana, just the Chewish Prince (Okay)

But bagels want to be consumed by non-Jews too,

Voted most likely to fall for red, white, and blue…

 

Thompson's bagel machine produces 2400,

Uncle Murray gets famous. Is he Jewish? They wonder,

Kraft buys the Jewish company in 1983,

Commercialization for all to see.

American supermarkets appear before me,

Seventy-two-hour lifespan due to polyethylene,

Erasing my history and my Jewish story,

Darling, I'm scared (Ah)

 

Bagel producers on TV sell me as the American dream

I'm entering the suburbs, home to gentile families

I'm no longer confined, they want me to go countrywide

I'm no longer always boiled but,

 

It's the country and me, that's my frozen world,

They see it on my box, what an "All-American" circle (Okay)

Homogeneous production creates a lower price,

I'm a substitute for toast, I'm losing my mind.

I'm soft and pillowy, didn't used to be like this

Ms. Americana and the Chewish Prince (Okay)

I've been painted red, wide, and blue

A "Roll with a Hole," my Jewish roots hidden from view.

 

But I don't want you to (Steam), nor really want you to (Slice)

'Cause nobody's gonna (Chew), I'm too disconnected

And I don't want to be the (Same), nor really want you to (Spread)

'Cause nobody's gonna (Chew), I'm too standardized

And I don't want you to (Waste), nor really want to be (Trash)

'Cause nobody's gonna (Chew), I'm too polluting,

I think it's time I (Go), 'cause I know there is a (Bagel)

That the 21st century wants me to (Be)

 

It's Instagram and me, that's my whole world,

Ten bucks is a bargain for premium cream cheese swirls…

Oh, I just thought you should know (You should know)

It's Instagram and me, fake authenticity makes me wince,

Only the rich Ms. Americana gets the Chewish Prince (Okay!)

I'm so exclusive, get in the virality queue

My Jewish roots erased, I'm not the ethnic bagel you knew.

 

And I don't want to (Globalize), I don't really want regional (War)

'Cause nobody's gonna (Win), the "best" bagel is a lie.

And I don't want to (Globalize), 'cause I know the bagel (Wars)

Jews are never gonna (Win), just thought you should know…

 

It's my eras and me, that's my whole world

You should come to my tour to see my full story unfurl,

See the full story unfurl…